Rules for Dating Lily Evans
by RealityCheckBounced89
Summary: Lily gets into a fight with Petunia and says she has a boyfriend, when she really doesn't. So, she's forced to turn to none other than James Potter.
1. The Deal

Rules for Dating Lily Evans

Disclaimer: The characters, places, etc. all belong to J. K. Rowling, not me. I did, however, think of the story all by myself.

> > > > > > > > > > > > 

It was a quiet afternoon in the Evans household. Until... "AAAAAAHHHHH!"

"IRIS!" Petunia Evans came running down the stairs, shrieking at the top of her lungs. Close behind her was a large owl and a red-headed seventeen year old witch by the name of Lily Evans. "Iris, come back here!" Lily yelled at her pet owl, desperately trying (and failing) to recapture it.

"Get it off me! Get it off me!" Petunia yelled, running into the kitchen.

"Calm down! Just stand still and I'll get her," Lily said, exasperated at her older sister's antics. Petunia calmed down enough for Lily to recapture her owl.

"You freak! You're back from school and in less than one day you set that thing on me!" Petunia screamed.

"I did not! It was an accident!"

"I bet even the other freaks think you're weird!" she shouted, now just taking a chance to make fun of her sister.

"Be quiet Petunia!"

"No wonder you're such a loser! You can't even get a date with one of those freakish people at that horrid school you go to!"

"At least I'm not dating a disgusting pig!"

"At least I actually _have_ a boyfriend, unlike you! You couldn't get a boyfriend if you tried!"

"Shows how much you know!" Lily shouted at her sister. "I happen to have a boyfriend right now! He's amazing, _much_ better than your boyfriend!"

"Oh yeah? What's his name?" Petunia asked, not believing that her younger sister had gotten a real boy to go out with her.

"His name," Lily said, "Is James Potter."

"I bet you just made him up."

"I did not!"

"Really? Well then, why don't you invite him to dinner this Friday? I'm sure Mum and Dad would love to meet him."

"Shouldn't you ask them first?" Lily said, a little uncomfortable with the idea.

"MUM!" Petunia shouted.

"What on Earth are you shouting for Petunia?" Mrs. Evans asked, walking into the room.

"I was just thinking, wouldn't it be lovely if Lily were to invite her _boyfriend_ to dinner this Friday?"

"Well that would be nice. Lily, I didn't know you had a boyfriend. I can't wait to meet him."

"I'll ask him to come at seven," Lily said, forcing a smile. "In fact, I'll send him an _owl_ right now." Lily took her owl with her to her bedroom.

"What am I going to do?" she said out loud once her door was closed. The only response she got was a hoot from Iris

> > > > > > > > > > > > 

"I'm bored."

"Sirius, you've been saying that for an hour ."

"And yet, you've done nothing to make me less bored." James simply sighed at his best friend. "We should have stayed at Hogwarts. At least Moony's there."

"No," James replied. "He had to visit his uncle out in the countryside."

"Oh. Well, at least Wormtail's there."

"At his grandmother's for the holidays."

"Right, I forgot." Sirius thought for a moment. "Do we really not have any other friends?"

The boys were distracted by a tapping at the window. "I don't recognize that owl," James said as he opened the window. Sirius looked over curiously as James began to read the letter it had brought. "Holy shit," James said in shock.

"What? What is it?" Sirius grabbed the letter from him and started to read. "Holy shit."

"I know."

"But how did this...?"

"I don't know."

"And why did she..."

"I don't know."

"Well," Sirius said after a long, awkward silence, "I'm not bored anymore."

> > > > > > > > > > > > 

Lily's mother stopped their car in front of the Leaky Cauldron. "I'll be back to pick you up in two hours, sweetie!" Mrs. Evans said as her daughter stepped out of the car.

"Okay, Mum," Lily said, entering the dimly lit pub. She made her way to the back, tapping on the brick wall with her wand.

Lily had always loved Diagon Alley. She found the shops fascinating and the bustle of people exciting. She took a deep breath as she sat down at an outdoor table of the ice cream parlor. Then, she waited.

James Potter and Sirius Black had been wandering around Diagon Alley for twenty minutes. James had decided to come early; he wasn't willing to risk missing Lily.

Stepping out of the quidditch supply shop, the two teenagers spotted the tell-tale red hair of Lily Evans. She was facing away from them, nervously tapping her foot.

"HI EVANS!" Sirius shouted when he was directly behind her. He began laughing uncontrollably when she jumped about a foot in the air.

"Shut up, Sirius!" James said. "Hi Lily."

"Hi." The boys sat down and looked at her expectantly. "Well, I seem to have, um, gotten myself into a bit of a predicament," she began.

"What do you mean?" James asked.

"Hold on!" Sirius interrupted. "First things first. Why on Earth would you ask us to meet you here?"

"Well if I recall, I only asked _James_ to come. You seem to be uninvited."

"And another thing, why are you calling him James - Wait, what? Are you saying you don't _want_ me here?"

Lily nodded. "Basically, yes."

"Well fine then. I know when I'm not wanted," he said in mock anger.

Lily looked at Sirius, waiting for him to get up. "Well," she said, "Aren't you leaving?"

"What? No of course not."

Lily sighed. "Okay, I know it's really weird for me to be doing this, but the truth is, I need your help," she said, looking at James.

"With what?"

"I got into an argument with my sister yesterday. She said I couldn't get a boyfriend. I told her I had one already."

"You do?" Sirius asked.

"No, I lied."

"Oh okay, continue."

"Well anyway, she asked who he was. And for some reason," she paused uncomfortably, embarrassed by the whole thing, "I kind of said _you_ were my boyfriend."

James looked completely floored by this statement. "Oh," was all he could manage.

"Yeah. So now she's decided she wants to meet you. And so do my parents."

"Oh."

"So, I was wondering if, maybe, you would pretend to be my boyfriend?"

There was complete silence at the table for the next sixty seconds.

"What's in it for him?" Sirius asked.

"Okay."

"James, I'm negotiating for you," Sirius said to him.

"I'll do it," James said to Lily, ignoring his best friend.

"You're hopeless."

"Really? Oh, James, thank you so much!" Lily said.

"No problem," he answered, feeling quite confident. Come on, fake dating was probably the closest he'd get to _actually_ dating Lily Evans.

"Okay, you'll need to come over at seven on Friday night. And dress nicely, in muggle clothes."

"I can do that."

"Am I invited?" Sirius asked.

"No."

"Please? Without James around, I'll be bored out of mind." Lily looked skeptical. "I promise to totally freak out your sister whenever possible," he said, trying to convince her.

Lily smiled. "I'll ask my mother today."

"Yes!"

'_This should be very interesting,'_ James thought to himself.

> > > > > > > > > > > > 

Well, that's chapter one. The rules come next.

I actually had some of this sitting on my old computer before the whole thing crashed. I only just now decided to redo it. Hope you like it.


	2. The Rules

Rules for Dating Lily Evans

Disclaimer: The plot is mine, nothing else.

Almost the entire chapter is dialogue, but I think it's funny dialogue. Mostly. Oh well, here's "Part Deux!"

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"Okay," Lily said, acting very business-like. "If we're going to pretend to date, we're going to have to set down some rules."

"Rules?" James asked, looking a bit worried about what he'd just agreed to. "What kind of rules?"

"Just, you know, normal ones. For our pretend relationship. And we have to get our stories straight. I don't want Petunia finding out that this is a hoax."

"Please. If anyone's good at lying, it's James," Sirius said.

"Sirius," Lily said.

"Yes?"

"I need you to write this down."

"What? But why?"

"Because James and I will be discussing the details. You'll write down the list of rules that we make up. Okay?" she asked.

"Fine," he said, accepting the paper and quill she was handing him.

"You've really thought this thing out, haven't you?" James asked.

"Yes. By the way, we've been seeing each other for about a month."

"Well that's lovely, can we get on with this?" Sirius asked impatiently.

"Calm down," Lily said. "Okay, rule number one: We only need to pretend we're boyfriend and girlfriend when other people are around. When it's just us, we can stop."

"That makes sense," James said as Sirius scribbled furiously.

"Okay." Lily looked at James. "What other things should we put down?"

"Can we hold hands?" he asked.

Lily sighed. "Yes, I suppose that will work. Let's say, two to four times over the course of... whatever."

"Over the course of?"

"Yeah, well, you might have to come over more than once."

"Oh, okay," James said, acting like he wasn't bothered by that. Actually, he was thrilled at getting to spend so much time as Lily's fake-boyfriend.

"Any other ideas?" she asked.

"You could hug each other," Sirius said, careful to hide behind the parchment.

Lily thought about it and sighed. "Alright, there can be two hugs _maximum_!"

"Fair enough," James answered.

"Any other bright ideas?"

"What about kissing?"

"NO!" Lily said forcefully.

Sirius jumped in, "Come on, do you really think you'll be able to pretend you're dating without kissing each other?"

"James isn't in to public displays of affection," Lily answered.

"Since when?" James asked.

"Since today."

"What if your sister still doesn't believe you?" Sirius added. James silently reminded himself to thank Sirius later.

Lily looked back and forth between the two boys. "Oh, alright! There can be _one_ kiss. But just one, and only if it's really, really necessary."

James began to celebrate in his mind.

"Okay, there must be something else I'm forgetting," Lily said. "Oh! My sister's horrid boyfriend Vernon might be around, and maybe even other muggles. You can't mention magic around them. That goes for both of you."

"Fine, fine, no magic around the muggles," Sirius said, jotting this down.

"Oh, and no going through any of my stuff! _Especially_ you, Sirius!" Lily said.

"I'll keep track of him, don't worry," James said.

"What am I, your pet?"

"Almost," James answered him.

"Alright then, I believe that's it."

"No, wait," James said. "I think I've thought of one more rule."

"What's that?" Lily asked

"Try to make your sister's life miserable?"

"Bothering Petunia as much as humanly possible?" Lily thought about this concept.

"We are experts," James said.

She smiled. "I love it."

"Okay," Sirius said, looking over his parchment. "So you two have been dating for a month. You should probably know something about each other besides your last names."

"Fine. My favorite color is blue, light blue but not baby blue. My favorite flower is-"

"A lily?" James asked hopefully.

"Please. Do you know how many times I've heard that? I like daisies and begonias."

"Got it," Sirius said, writing down this note.

"I'm not a big fan of sports, I love animals, especially dogs," she continued.

"Really?" Sirius asked.

"No!" James said sternly to his best friend.

"No what?" Lily asked.

"Oh, well Sirius has a dog, but I don't think we should bring it over. It's quite large and stupid."

"He is not! He's an adorable puppy!" Sirius exclaimed defensively.

"He's not a puppy."

"Oh you know what? That's just so... Yeah. Fine."

Lily looked at Sirius quizzically. The conversation had been quite confusing, but then again, so were most exchanges between the two boys. "Anyway...James." He looked up at the sound of his name. "Tell me about you."

"Me? Okay, well, I like quidditch. A lot." He stopped. "That's about it."

"That's it? You are insufferable, do you know that?"

"I've been trying to tell him that for years, Lily," Sirius said, shaking his head sadly.

"Okay, now if there are muggles around, like Vernon," Lily made a face, as if it pained her to say his name, "You two should probably just keep quiet."

"But I know muggle stuff," Sirius said.

James added, "And he's made me watch some of those talky picture things."

"Movies?"

"Yeah, those."

"Okay. If you must talk, stick to movies you've seen or muggle books you've read. _Don't_ start blabbing on about sports. You're both clueless about muggle sports, and I'm highly disinterested in them, so I can't teach you."

"Alright, is that everything?" James asked.

"I think so. Sirius, lets see that list," she said, grabbing the parchment from him.

The paper read:

**Rules for Dating Lily Evans**

1. Only act like boyfriend and girlfriend in front of others

2. Can hold hands two to four times

3. There will be a maximum of two hugs

4. There will be a maximum of one kiss (only if absolutely necessary!)

5. Mention NO magic around other muggles (especially Vernon)

6. No going through Lily's stuff (_especially_ Sirius)

7. Feel free to make Petunia's life a living hell

"Looks good," James said.

Lily checked her watch. "Oh, my mother's going to be here to pick me up soon. I have to go. Thank you so much, James," she said, getting up. "You have no idea how much this means to me." Then, she did something quite unexpected. She hugged James Potter.

James looked like he was floating. "Your welcome."

"Hey, does that count as one of your two hugs?" Sirius asked, looking over his list.

She smiled and shook her head. "No, it doesn't. See you at seven."

"We'll be there," James said.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

I realized about halfway through this that James doesn't talk a whole lot, so I tried to add more in. Hope it was good, and sorry the chapters are a little on the short side.

Thanks for reviewing!

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	3. The Date: Part 1

Rules for Dating Lily Evans

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter characters, and I never will.

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James studied himself carefully in his mirror. He was pretty sure he was still forgetting something. "Sirius, am I forgetting something?" he asked.

Sirius, like his best friend, was dressed nicely in muggle clothes. And he found the collar on his shirt quite irritating. "I don't know. Do you have shoes on?"

"Shoes!" He ran to his closet and started digging through his stuff. Sirius, expecting him to be a while, sat back in a chair and watched in amusement. James wasn't yet aware that his shoes were actually under his bed.

"Boys! Is everything okay?" Mrs. Potter shouted from downstairs.

"We're fine! We'll be down in just a minute!" Sirius called, still enjoying James mad search for his shoes.

"Wait! My shoes aren't in here!" James rushed over to his bed and pulled his shoes on. Once again looking into the mirror, he patted down his unruly hair. It was, however, quite hopeless.

"Oh, don't you just look adorable!" James' mother cried when she saw them walking downstairs. "I should get a picture!"

"Please don't," Sirius said. He loved the Potters dearly, but could never quite get used to being coddled.

"Oh alright. James, why didn't you do anything with your hair?"

"Mum!"

"Fine, fine. Well, off you go! Have fun!" she said, giving them each a kiss on the cheek, which they each promptly tried to wipe off.

Lily and her father were supposedly going to pick them up in some automobile type thing. Neither boy had ever been in a car, and Sirius was quite excited. James, on the other hand, was feeling very nervous.

When they arrived, Lily and Mr. Evans stepped out of the car. "Hi!" she said to them as excitedly as she could. Then she turned around. "Dad, this is James and Sirius," Lily said, indicating to each of them. "This is my father."

"You're not dating both of them, are you?" Mr. Evans asked jokingly.

"What? No, of course not! Daddy!"

"I'm just kidding," he said, seeing his daughter was upset. "It's nice to meet you boys. Now, which one _are _you dating, Lily?"

Lily sighed. She felt almost bad for what James was about to be put through. Especially since Vernon was coming over. "James, Daddy."

"Alright. Let's get going, shall we?" The three teenagers piled into the backseat, with Lily sitting between them. She seemed nervous as well, although she wasn't entirely sure why.

After nearly fifteen minutes of complete silence, Sirius decided somebody needed to say something, or he would go crazy. "Well this is awkward," he said, just loud enough for Lily and James to hear him.

"We're almost there," Lily said. "Just behave yourselves. Vernon's over as well, so that means no magic."

"I know, I'm not stupid," Sirius said. Lily looked at him as if she didn't believe this. "Really, I'm not!"

She rolled her eyes at him and turned to look at her "boyfriend." "James, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said. "I've just never done the whole 'meet the parents' thing before."

"It's not for real," she whispered. "You'll be fine." This reassured James, but only a little. He sighed and looked out the window at her house as they pulled up in front of the Evans' house.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Once inside the house, Lily grabbed James' arm. "Come on, I want you to meet my mum," she said, trying to sound excited.

"Your mum? Right," James answered. He felt a bit nauseated. He hadn't thought meeting a girl's parents would be this unnerving. Then again, he'd sort of assumed he'd actually be dating the girl first.

They entered the kitchen, where a short, red-haired woman was pulling something out of the oven. Sirius, who had followed the other two, looked around her curiously at the wonderful smelling dish.

"Oh, you must be James," she said, pulling off her oven mitt and holding out her hand. "It's so nice to meet you."

James shook her hand as confidently as one who felt queasy could. "It's nice to finally meet you, Mrs. Evans," he said with a charming smile.

"He's quite cute, Lily," Mrs. Evans said to her daughter, though not quietly enough.

"Mum!" Lily said in an agitated whisper.

James couldn't help but smile at this(a bit smugly, too). "Oh, and this is my friend Sirius," he said, introducing him.

"Thanks a lot for having me," Sirius said.

"Oh, not a problem, dear. Now, why don't you three go out into the living room. Dinner should be ready soon."

Once out of earshot, James whispered into Lily's ear, "Did you hear that? I'm quite cute."

"Shut up, you prat." The three of them sat down on the sofa.

"Well, so far, so good," Sirius said.

"Trust me, the night's far from over," Lily told him anxiously. He father walked into the room. "Hi dad. When does... Petunia's boyfriend get here?" she asked.

"He's running a little late. Why?"

"Just wondering when I was going to be subjected to that torture," she mumbled.

"Well, until he gets here, you boys can talk freely," Mr. Evans said to James and Sirius.

"Right. Muggle," Sirius commented.

"So James, Lily tells me you're quite the athlete," her father prompted, trying to begin a conversation with the uncomfortable looking teens.

"Well, I play quidditch at school."

"Quidditch, Lily's mentioned that. What exactly do you do in that sport?" he asked.

"Here we go," Lily muttered under her breath.

James suddenly became very animated. His anxiety left him as he explained the rules to Mr. Evans, who tried to keep up.

"So, there are six places to score goals?"

"Well, three for each team. And we generally don't call them goals."

"Right, wrong sport. And you actually do all of this on brooms? In the air?"

"Yeah, we-" James stopped talking when he noticed someone else in the room.

Lily suddenly stood up. "Petunia," she said to the other girl, "This is my _boyfriend_, James, and his friend Sirius."

"You brought _two_ freaks to the house?" Petunia said with disgust, not otherwise acknowledging James or Sirius.

"Petunia, remember what we said about that," Mr. Evans said sternly.

She looked at James and Sirius with disdain. Then, she turned to her father. "I'm going upstairs."

After she left, Lily said, "I'm so sorry about that."

"That's alright," James said kindly. Sirius was looking at the stairs Petunia had just ascended with narrowed eyes. James knew he was concocting a plan to get back at her.

The doorbell rang just then, and Petunia came racing back down the stairs to answer it. When she opened the door she greeted what was easily the largest man Sirius and James had ever seen. "Vernon, it's so good to see you!" she practically squealed. She then reached up and kissed him on the cheek.

Lily was rolling her eyes. "Hello Vernon," Mr. Evans said cordially.

"Good evening, Mr. Evans," Vernon said, shaking his hand. Only then did he notice the others in the room. He stared at them suspiciously.

"Vernon, these are friends of Lily's," Mr. Evans said after a long, awkward silence in which it was clear no one else was going to start talking.

"Hi, I'm James." Vernon simply looked at him warily. Lily was almost positive Petunia had told him she was mentally unstable and/or dangerous, so his reaction came as no surprise to her. "This is my friend Sirius," James tried again, but still got no answer.

There was another uncomfortable pause for a moment. Then, from another room, Mrs. Evans said, "Dinner's ready!"

"Great!" Sirius said, standing up excitedly.

"This is going to be a long night," Lily whispered to James, barely noticing that he'd grabbed her hand. "A very,_ very_ long night."

>>>>>>>>>>>>

I experienced serious writer's block on this chapter. Maybe it's because I wrote most of this only days before the new Harry Potter book came out. Whatever, I finished it.

Thank you so much for reviewing!

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	4. The Date: Part 2

Rules for Dating Lily Evans

Disclaimer: Oh, come on. You are all perfectly aware that none of these characters belong to me.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

The seven people seated themselves at the long rectangular table in the Evans' dining room. Everyone was a bit on edge, except for Sirius.

"Could you pass the potatoes?" he asked Petunia. She pretended she hadn't heard him. "Excuse me? Could you please pass me the potatoes?"

Mr. Evans gave his oldest daughter a look, and she reluctantly handed Sirius the bowl. "Thank you," he said cheerfully, adding to her unpleasantness.

"This looks great, Mrs. Evans," James said. He hoped he was doing a good job.

"Why thank you, James."

Not to be outdone, Vernon quickly added, "You're meals are always excellent!"

"Oh, how nice of you. You boys are so kind."

Lily's father seemed eager to get to know James, and tried starting a muggle-friendly conversation. "So, do you like movies?"

"I love movies!" Sirius said loudly, before James had a chance to answer.

"What movies do you like?" Lily's mother asked politely.

"My favorite's the Wizard of Oz."

Vernon laughed a little. "The Wizard of Oz? That's a bit childish, don't you think?"

"No. I like the flying monkeys."

Vernon glared at Sirius, as though this was obviously someone who'd recently escaped from a mental institution. Sirius simply smiled.

"I don't watch movies all that often," James said, just loudly enough to direct the conversation away from Sirius. "They don't really interest me."

"How about books?" Mr. Evans asked.

"If he can read," Vernon whispered to Petunia, who giggled giddily. Lily glared at them from across the table.

"Well, when I have time, I love to read. But I usually just spend most of my time with Lily," he said, smiling smugly at the rude muggles.

"Oh, I'm sure that's always interesting," Petunia muttered sarcastically under her breath, causing Sirius to look at her in slight disbelief.

"Always," James said, as if the remark hadn't been meant as an insult. "Things get boring pretty fast without her around."

Petunia scowled at her plate.

The rest of dinner passed with quiet, (somewhat) polite conversation, and the occasional odd comment from Sirius, who had quickly figured out how to get on Vernon's nerves.

"I think I need to go outside and get some air," Lily said once everyone had finished.

James stood up. "We'll come with you," he replied, eager to get away from Petunia and Vernon.

The three of them left the dining room together. Sirius, with his wand hidden up his sleeve, pointed behind him and muttered something under his breath. "Come on, let's go," he said, rushing the other two out with a small smile on his face.

As they stepped out onto the front porch, Sirius counted quietly on his fingers, "Five, four, three, two..."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

"Yes!"

Lily and James peeked inside, while Sirius tried hard not to laugh out loud. At the table, Petunia was jumping up and down like a lunatic, screaming "GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF!"

"Sirius, what did you do?" Lily whispered, laughing as Vernon tried in vain to calm her down.

"I just conjured a tiny little spider. And sent it up her back. Then it probably went on her shoulder." At this point, Sirius could no longer contain himself, and burst into laughter. Lily and James soon followed suit.

A few minutes later, once they'd calmed down, Petunia came storming out front and glared at James. "YOU did it! I know you did!"

"Did what?"

"You know perfectly well what! You put that spider on me!"

"What spider?" James said with a perfectly honest expression.

Petunia looked like she might explode. Then she rounded on Lily. "I hate you, you terrible little witch! You've completely ruined my evening with Vernon!"

"Hey, back off!" James said, stepping protectively between them.

"Oh, stop with the charade," she sneered. "My parents might have believed you, but I don't. I know you're not really her boyfriend. She can't get a real boyfriend, so she had to hire somebody. How utterly pathetic."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm really her boyfriend," James said, with a tone of slight annoyance.

"Petunia, just go away," Lily said angrily.

"Kiss him."

"What?"

"You heard me. If he's really your boyfriend, then kiss him. And make it believable."

Lily sighed. "Fine, if it will really go away." She turned to James and looked at him. "I'm sorry about her," she whispered.

"It's not like we haven't done it before," he said, smiling. It was a good thing James had so much practice in lying. Sirius was smiling slightly, curious about the outcome.

He leaned down slightly (because she was a bit shorter than him) and gently pressed his lips against hers. She was aware that both Sirius and Petunia were watching, and opened her mouth slightly. It was a surprisingly convincing first kiss, and it truly looked as if they'd had a lot of practice. They continued on like that, their tongues meeting, until Sirius whistled at them.

Lily pulled away slowly, a slight blush rising on her cheeks. She smiled smugly at her sister. Petunia stared at them for a moment, then turned on her heel and left.

"Nice job, you two. You really had me going for a second," Sirius said, staring pointedly at Lily.

"Well, we can cross that off the list," Lily said quickly, ignoring Sirius' stare. He smiled to himself anyway.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Lily's father drove James and Sirius back to the Potter's house later that evening. Once inside, Sirius said to James, "Well that was interesting."

"I can't believe she kissed me," James said, smiling broadly.

"I can't believe that sister of hers. Almost makes me miss my family." James looked at him skeptically. "I said _almost_."

"And the boyfriend?"

"Oh, don't even get me started on that! I'm actually going to look in a book for something to do to them."

"_You're_ going to open a book? Now that I don't believe."

"Ha ha. You're so funny."

"Yeah, I know."

"You know what's really funny? That's probably the only way you'll ever get to kiss Lily Evans," Sirius said, laughing.

"Shut up, you asshole."

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Okay, so they kissed! Look for more fun ahead, and if you have suggestions/requests as to what Sirius should do to Petunia, please let me know. I should be finished the whole fic before I go back to school in September. At least, that's what I'm aiming for. But knowing me, and how I enjoy procrastinating, that may not work out. BTW: I'm making a point to update before I leave for vacation, so don't expect much for a while.

Have I mentioned how much I love reviews?

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	5. The Plan

Rules for Dating Lily Evans

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I'm not sure if I made this clear or not, but this is supposed to be the winter holidays in the middle of seventh year. That's all, carry on.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Sirius was trying very hard to be quiet. That was because, at 11:30 at night, Mr. and Mrs. Potter were asleep, and probably expected Sirius to be, too. Sirius, however, was not asleep. He was wide awake, and at that very moment rummaging through the Potters' potion cabinet.

Now, Sirius knew that if he'd simply asked Mrs. Potter, she would have gladly allowed him to borrow some potion ingredients. However, he didn't want her asking questions.

Like what kind of potion it was. Or who it was for.

Having found what he was looking for, he silently made his way back upstairs.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Lily was quite pleased. Although she'd been forced to kiss James (and forced to admit to herself that she didn't hate it), Petunia had been very grumpy for the past day and a half, and Lily knew why.

Not only had Petunia been proven wrong about Lily and James (or so she thought), but she hadn't heard from Vernon since he left two nights ago. So Lily smiled to herself that day while eating lunch while Petunia looked very sullen.

"You know Lily, you should invite James over again," Mrs. Evans said as she pulled some cookies out of the oven. Lily loved the smell of her mother's Christmas cookies baking. "You're father and I would love to get to know him better."

"Sure. I assume you mean without any other muggles around?" she asked, looking at her sister calmly.

"Well, you know we couldn't talk as freely with Vernon here. But how about you invite him over tomorrow night? He was such a nice boy."

Oh yeah, he's a real nice boy, Lily thought. If only her mother could see half of the mayhem he and his friends cause at Hogwarts, she wouldn't think he was very nice at all. Out loud she said, "Great, I'll go write him now."

Up in her room, Lily took out her quill, ink, and parchment. She was quite fond of the ink, because it alternated between red and green, giving her letters a seasonal touch.

_**Dear James,**_

_**Thank you for coming over Friday night. If you don't mind, my mother's asked me to have you over again tomorrow night. Petunia's boyfriend won't be around, so you'll be able to talk about school and magic. I suppose Sirius can come along again.**_

_**Sincerely,**_

_**Lily Evans**_

There, that sounds good, Lily thought, rolling it up. She sent Iris along with the letter, and headed back downstairs.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Sirius sat hunched over a book on the floor of James' bedroom. He looked up at the sound of an owl tapping on the window. He let it in grudgingly, annoyed that it had interrupted his thought process, and grabbed the letter it held.

James walked into the room a moment later. "Hey," Sirius said, "You got a letter from your fake girlfriend." He tossed the note and James caught it expertly, his reflexes honed from years of quidditch.

"What the hell are you even doing, Padfoot?" he asked as he opened his letter.

"Planning."

"For what?"

"The Plan," Sirius said, as if it were the most thing in the world.

"Never mind." He read the letter, then sat down at his desk to respond. Pushing some clutter out of the way, he quickly scribbled an answer.

Sending his reply back with Lily's owl, he sat down on the floor across from Sirius and his book. "Alright, really, what are you doing?"

"Oh, you'll see." James decided it was probably best if he didn't know.

Then, James had an idea as well. "Hey Sirius. I'm sure you're plan is good, but mine might be better."

Sirius scoffed at the thought. "Fine, let's hear it."

>>>>>>>>>>>>

When James told her he was coming by floo powder, Lily had to spend twenty minutes explaining the concept to her parents. Then, they had spent another forty-five minutes trying to calm Petunia down. She did **not** like the idea of those two freaks flying out of the fireplace.

So, that evening, Lily was pacing around her living room, waiting for the two of them to show up. But when James came, Sirius did not accompany him. Instead, a large, shaggy black dog came out of the fireplace with him.

Lily looked curiously at the dog. "What's this?" she asked James, very confused.

"Well, Sirius is feeling a bit under the weather tonight, so he couldn't join us. However, I remembered you said you like dogs, so I thought maybe I could bring him along," James said, motioning to the canine, who was quietly sitting with his tail wagging.

"Well, I do like dogs," Lily said, softening a bit. "And he is adorable." She leaned down to pet him, and asked, "What's his name?"

"Uh, Snuffles."

"Snuffles?"

"Yeah, it's Sirius' dog. He seems to like you."

"He's cute," she said, scratching him behind his ear, "But he'll have to stay outside during dinner." As if he could hear her, the dog suddenly looked up with imploring eyes. "I'm sorry, but you won't be allowed to stay, otherwise."

"I'll take him out," James offered.

"Doesn't he need to be tied up?"

"No, he won't run away."

"Okay then," she said, letting James lead the dog towards the backyard.

Once there, James said, "Okay, the coast is clear."

Moments later, Sirius Black appeared where the dog had been. "You couldn't have thought of a better name for me?"

"But Rover is so overdone."

"Whatever," he said, reaching into his pocket. "You need to get this into the sister's drink somehow."

"Don't you think she'll notice she's drinking potion?" James asked, taking the small vial Sirius handed him.

"Who cares? Oh, and don't forget to bring out some leftovers for Snuffles."

"That'll depend on how ungrateful Snuffles is being," James answered.

Sirius pretended to look shocked. "I'm very grateful to be a dog. Not only do I get out of dinner with the sister, but when Lily was petting me I could see down her shirt."

"What!"

"It was a nice view, actually."

"Go back to being a dog, you prat!"

"Alright, whatever. Just remember to give her the potion," Sirius said before transforming again. James went inside quite disgruntled.

"Everything okay?" Lily asked upon seeing the scowl on his face.

"Oh yeah, everything's fine. The dog's just bloody stupid."

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dinner this time went very well. James managed to slip the potion discreetly into Petunia's drink, but oddly enough, nothing happened to her all through dinner. She was very quiet, and left the table early so she wouldn't have to hear more talk about magic.

James was able to tell the Evans' about quidditch more thoroughly, as well as his classes. Lily also seemed much more relaxed than at the first dinner. Maybe because Vernon wasn't there, watching Lily and the others as if they were a side show at a circus. Or maybe it was because Sirius wasn't there, and she wasn't constantly afraid of what he might say. Either way, Lily actually found herself enjoying the evening. She and James were so good at pretending, there were times when she actually forgot they weren't dating.

"So James, what classes do you like?" Lily's mother asked.

"Well, I like Defense Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Transfiguration-"

"Ha!"

"What?" James asked, looking at Lily.

"If you like Transfiguration so much, then why do show up late to _every_ class?"

"I'm a very busy man, you know."

"Oh really? With what? Causing mayhem?" she questioned.

"As a matter of fact, that happens to be very time consuming."

"Well, I guess it is, seeing as you spend half your free time on it."

"And the other half I spend with you, so why are you complaining?" James said smugly.

Lily thought about that for a minute. "I don't know. McGonagall's the one who gets mad, anyway. Carry on."

"Well it's too late for that, I've completely forgotten what the topic was," he told her.

"They are so cute," Lily's mother said quietly to Mr. Evans.

"Mum!"

"Sorry dear," she said with a smile. Then, things seemed to go a little downhill.

"So, James," Lily's father started, "What do you plan to do after you graduate?"

"Oh dear,"Lily said to herself. However, James didn't miss a beat.

"Hopefully continue living," he answered.

"Oh my God," Lily mumbled.

"Excuse me?" her father asked.

"I'm not entirely sure, although I've considered playing quidditch."

"Quidditch? You're going to play sports for the rest of your life?"

"Or at least part of it, maybe."

"Daddy, I-"

"Is that you're only option?"

"No. But I haven't really thought about it all that much."

"Who's ready for dessert? Okay, great!" Lily said without waiting for an answer, and she grabbed James' hand, dragging him into the kitchen.

Once they were alone, she said, "James, I am so sorry! I had no idea he was going to grill you like that."

"That's alright."

"But you probably shouldn't have given him that smart-ass response."

"Yeah, okay, that was bad judgement on my part. Do you mind if I bring some leftovers out to Snuffles?"

"Go ahead," she said distractedly.

Once in the backyard, Sirius changed back. "Thanks for the food. Did you give her the potion?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

"Nothing happened."

Sirius looked crestfallen. "Really? Nothing? She didn't even sneeze?"

"She didn't even notice," James told him.

"Well that just ruins my night. On the bright side, I did chase a rabbit earlier."

"Good for you. I'm going back inside, I'll get you later."

But Sirius had other things in mind. So he changed back into his doggy self and followed James into the kitchen. "Shoo! Go back outside!" James said sternly, but it was no use. "Sorry, I told you he was stupid."

"We can take him up to my room, no will mind him there," Lily said, looking like she had gotten over the earlier conversation. "Mum, Dad, James and I are going upstairs!" she called to them.

"Your room, did you say?" James asked.

"Yeah, come on," she said, looking fairly cheerful.

They went up the stairs, and Lily led James and Snuffles into the second room on the right. The first door was closed. "That's Petunia's room," she whispered as they walked by.

The first thing James saw as they entered the room was blue. A pale blue color was painted on all the walls, and the bedspread was a sky blue color. Her dresser and desk were white, with blue knobs on the drawers, and the carpet was (what else?) blue, although darker than the walls.

"Wow," James said, looking around. "You really weren't kidding when you said blue was your favorite color."

She turned around and smiled at him. "You remembered."

"Well, we have been dating for a month." Lily laughed, and James thought it was beautiful the way her eyes lit up when she was happy. "So, what now?"

"Who cares? I just wanted to get away from everybody," she said, sitting down on the floor. James joined her, and Snuffles laid himself down nearby. "So James."

"So Lily."

She was about to ask him the question that had been on her mind for days, but chickened out at the last minute. "Want to listen to some music?"

He looked a little confused, but said, "Sure. I don't know many muggle bands though."

"That's okay," she said, putting something on. They sat in silence for a while, until Lily finally blurted out, "Why did you do it?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why did you agree to help me?"

"Well I thought that was obvious. I like you." She looked down, a little embarrassed. "What I don't understand is, why me?"

"Huh?"

"Why, out of all the names you could have told your sister, did you pick mine?"

Now she was very embarrassed. "I don't know."

After another long pause, James said, "I like this song." And without knowing exactly why, Lily burst out laughing.

He and Snuffles left later that evening. Lily's parents were there to see him off, so Lily gave him a hug goodbye. "Thanks for coming James."

"See you later," he said, hugging her back. "Bye Mrs. Evans, Mr. Evans," he said politely before jumping into the fireplace.

Once back at his house, Sirius transformed back into himself. "Well that was a waste of time. The stupid potion didn't even work." James was ignoring him. He was enjoying thinking about Lily.

At her own house, Lily just happened to be thinking about him.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

A/N: Okay, vacation is over, yet spending all that time cooped up with my family didn't make me feel terribly relaxed. Not that they bother me that much, you just never get a second to yourself! Well, I'm back and writing again (with an uber-long chapter, I might add), although I think I crapped up the ending. Thanks for your ideas, too! Don't worry, Sirius will continue to go after Petunia.

Special thanks to BrownEyes90 for the Snuffles idea!

Thank you so much for reviewing!

6th year gryffindor

drumer girl

Ohyeah100

Leha

2InsanitiesIn1

alittlesomebody

PhoenixWings13

jillybean90

Lady-Slytherin-Warrior

J.E.A.R.K.Potter

Trapped Rabbit

BrownEyes90

Hermione Radcliffe Go Michael

luckycharms129

Crazy4Cocopuffs


	6. The Party

Rules for Dating Lily Evans

Disclaimer: None of this is mine!

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Not being able to get your boyfriend out of your head isn't bad. Not being able to get your fake boyfriend out of your head is slightly less pleasant. Especially when you thought you couldn't stand him.

Lily was encountering just that problem. For two days since he disappeared through her fireplace, James Potter had been occupying her thoughts. And she really thought she was losing it.

'He's not even that great, anyway!' she thought furiously. 'Except of course for the fact that he's helping me get back at Petunia. And my mother absolutely adores him. And he's been so nice and quite fun. But other than that, he's really nothing special,' she thought, half-heartedly trying to convince herself of the fact.

"Lily! What are you wearing at the Christmas party on Friday?" her mother called to her from downstairs.

Oh, that stupid Christmas Party. Every year for as long as Lily could remember her parents had thrown a Christmas Party for all of their friends and relatives. Lily was usually bored out of her mind at this party, but there was no way to get out of it. The worst part was, Vernon would almost definitely be there. Yes, the annual Christmas Party was bound to be very boring.

Then, an idea came to Lily, and she bounded downstairs to talk to her mother. Maybe it didn't have to be boring, after all.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Sirius was looking at the piece of parchment with all of the Lily's rules on it. "Let's see... You've used two hand-holds and one hug. Oh, and that kiss."

"Why exactly are you tallying this up, Padfoot?"

"So you'll know what you'll be able to do and get away with next time you see her."

James sighed, "She probably doesn't need me to come back. I think we've thoroughly convinced her family, don't you?"

Then, Lily's now familiar owl flew up to the window. "Doesn't need you to come back, huh?" Sirius said smugly as he untied the letter. James quickly snatched it away from him.

"She wants me to come to her parents' Christmas Party!" James said, pleasantly surprised at this latest turn of events.

"Really? Am I invited?"

>>>>>>>>>>>>

"James! Sirius!" Lily said upon seeing them arrive. They'd come early so no muggles would notice them walking (or in James' case, falling) out of the fireplace. She gave James a hug, since her mother was in the room.

"It's nice to see you boys again," Mrs. Evans said kindly. "Sirius, I do hope you're feeling better."

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm feeling much better, thanks."

"That's good. Lily, don't forget to say high to all of your relatives when they arrive. Now, I have to go find your father and make sure his outfit matches."

"Thanks for coming, guys. These parties are always so boring," Lily told them.

"Well allow us to make things more interesting," Sirius said, pulling out his wand.

"Put that away, you prat!" Lily yelled. "Muggles are coming!"

"Fine. Spoilsport."

She turned to face James. "My family should be coming soon. Wanna make the rounds with me?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"No. Sirius, my mum set up the food in the dining room. Please try not to scare my relatives."

He saluted her and took off. Lily, once again holding James' hand, walked into the entry hall to greet the guests.

"Oh Lily! Look how much you've grown!" An elderly woman said upon entering the house.

"Hi Nana," Lily said, hugging her grandmother.

"And who is this lovely young gentleman?" she asked upon seeing James.

The next half-hour went along much like that.

Finally, when it seemed most of the guests had arrived, Lily once again dragged James by the hand. "Let's go find Sirius. I hope he hasn't gotten into too much trouble."

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Sirius, they found, had not gotten into trouble...yet. He was picking up some Christmas cookies off the table when his best friend approached with his fake girlfriend.

"Hey guys. Lily, some old lady came by and asked who I was, and then asked who I was again 20 minutes later..."

"That would be Nana Evans. I see you haven't gotten yourself into any trouble...yet."

"I'm hurt by your accusation," he said monotonously. Then, getting excited, asked, "Who's the lovely brunette in the red skirt?"

Lily found who he was looking at standing near the drinks table. "That's my cousin Lynn. She's twenty, a bit too old for you."

"Nonsense," he said, "I love older women." Then, he confidently strode over to the drinks table.

Lily shook her head and turned to leave, but James stopped her. "Hold on, I wanna see this."

"You think I should tell him she's seriously involved?"

"He'll figure it out," James said. "Hey, who's the big guy?" he asked, looking at the tall, muscular man who had just stepped behind Sirius.

Lily smirked. "That's her boyfriend. He's in the navy."

It was all James could do to stop himself from laughing out loud right then. He stuffed a cookie in his mouth and chewed it while they watched the exchange. "He doesn't look very happy, does he?" she said of the marine.

James shook his head. "Oh look, Sirius just noticed him."

Sirius strode quickly back to Lily and James. "I think I need some fresh air," he said, practically dragging them outside.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

"Lily," her mother called. Lily was in the dining room, where most of the guests were talking with each other. "Come help me, will you?"

Lily sighed audibly. "I'll do it," James volunteered. Lily and Sirius looked at him in confusion.

"Be my guest," she said, simply happy that she didn't have to go help her mother. It was very likely one small chore would lead to another, and she really didn't want to leave Sirius unsupervised in a house full of muggles.

James walked into the kitchen where Mrs. Evans was trying to balance several plates that had been restocked with food. He gracefully took two plates away from her and said, "Lily is being a good hostess at the moment, so I offered to help."

"Oh, how thoughtful. You know, I thought Lily hadn't given you boys nearly enough notice... Only a few days before the party. But she knew you would come, of course," she rattled on, barely realizing that she was talking to James at all. "She really wanted you to come, but of course you knew that. And she was so terribly sorry about the other night..."

James was not listening anymore. He was just grinning like an idiot.

Out in the dining room, Sirius was working on a few more cookies. "You're mum really makes awesome cookies. If I could, I would live off her cookies. And milk. You need milk with your cookies."

Lily, as usual, was ignoring him. She watched her sister sitting in the corner with Vernon, and scowled. "How does that happen?" she asked no one in particular. Not that this stopped Sirius from answering.

"Well, when a boy and a girl like each other very, very much..."

"Shut up, you moron. I mean, how does someone as completely dreadful as my sister get a boyfriend, while I have to fake the whole thing. I mean, even if he is completely repulsive, he seems to genuinely like her. I'm nicer than she is, and she gets a boyfriend! Karma sucks."

"You know, you could have a real boyfriend," Sirius said, looking at her carefully.

"What?" she asked. She followed his stare to where James was helping her mother set out more trays of food. "You mean James?"

"No, I mean the cold cuts. Of course I mean James! The boy is crazy about you."

Lily looked away, embarrassed. "I wouldn't say that..."

"I would. I live with him, and I know him pretty damn well. I repeat, the boy is crazy about you."

Lily stared at him laughing on the other side of the room, and without knowing it she involuntarily smiled to herself.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Later that evening, most of the guests had finally left. Lily, having said her goodbyes, retreated to the living room, which was thankfully quite empty. Sirius fell onto the couch and closed his eyes. "Wake me up when it's time to leave, okay?"

"Fine," James said. He started a fire in the fireplace, and he and Lily sat down in front of it. James leaned back on his elbows, relaxing, and Lily rested herself on one arm, leaning towards James.

"Thank goodness this night is over. If I had to get told by one more relative "how much I'd grown!" I think would've puked."

James laughed. "Yeah well, I think you're grandmother must've asked me at least fifty times who I was," he countered.

"Yes, she's a bit senile. My family wasn't too hard on you, were they?" she asked with mock sympathy.

He shrugged casually. "I'll live." They sat in silence for a while, but it wasn't awkward like before. James turned his head toward her after a few minutes and asked, "When did you change your mind?"

She didn't need to ask what he was talking about. But she asked anyway. "About what?" He gave her a look that clearly said, I know, don't bother hiding it. She sighed. "I'm not sure. I guess some time this past week. You took me by surprise, really." Lily smiled at him.

James suddenly felt very bold, and said, "Well, I think I'm going to surprise you again."

Then, he leaned in and kissed her.

It felt so natural to Lily, and she didn't object. She pulled away from him after a short kiss and said quietly, "James, I don't think..."

"Don't think," he interrupted, putting his hand behind her head and pulling her toward him. The hand that wasn't supporting Lily moved to his cheek, as if she thought it was all a dream and touching him would make it real.

All perception of time was lost to them as they sat in front of the warm flames, allowing nothing but emotions to rule their actions. The sound of Sirius stirring on the couch behind them brought them back to reality.

He sat up and stretched, not noticing how close the two were. "What did I miss?" he asked groggily.

Lily smiled. "Nothing Sirius."

"Good. I'll be right back, I'm rather thirsty."

"I'm sure that wouldn't have anything to do with the three dozen Christmas cookies you ate earlier," James said to him as he walked away. Lily looked at him with a smile on her face. "What?" he asked.

"What I was _going _to say before," she whispered, leaning in close, "was that I don't think we need to pretend anymore."

He smiled broadly. "Who's pretending?"

>>>>>>>>>>>>

A/N: Only one more chapter to go! And only two more weeks before school! I think I'll be able to stick to my goal! Okay, enough with the exclamation points. I hope this chapter (and, in my opinion, infinitely better ending) makes up for the totally crappy ending in the last chapter. It's not too funny though, but oh well. I'll try not to make you wait much longer for the finale.

Reviews (and reviewers) are awesome!

Siriusly Sirius Lily Black

My-Choice

Lady-Slytherin-Warrior

Kiweeo

CoconutPalm

J.E.A.R.K.Potter

Leha

Trapped Rabbit


	7. The End

Rules for Dating Lily Evans

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters you see here, or I would be filthy rich.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Lily, James, and Sirius were standing at Platform 9 3/4 waiting to board the Hogwarts Express. Lily and James were talking, and Sirius left to find Remus and Peter.

When he did find Remus, he was very excited. "Moony! Good to see you, buddy! It's been a boring holiday, let me tell you..."

"Hi Sirius. Where's James?"

"Oh, he's over there with..." Sirius began, pointing in the general direction he'd just come from.

Remus, however, wasn't listening. He was staring. Staring in shock at the scene before him. James Potter was approaching him and Sirius. And a redheaded girl who looked suspiciously like Lily Evans was walking with him. Holding his hand, to be exact. As Remus watched her laugh at something James had said, he realized that it _was_ Lily Evans. Only it couldn't be. It just couldn't, because Lily Evans would _never_ hold hands with James Potter.

"Hey Remus," James said, smiling.

"Hi!" Lily greeted cheerfully. Although she'd never been terribly friendly with any of the Marauders, she figured this was a good time to start, seeing as she was dating one of them.

"It's funny. You look like Lily Evans, you sound like Lily Evans, but you can't be."

"James, you didn't tell him?" she asked accusingly.

James was laughing. "No. And the look on his face right now is totally worth it."

Remus was still standing there in shock, looking like a fish as he opened and closed his mouth. He finally found words. "But-but- how did this happen? When? The last time I saw you, you couldn't stand him!"

"Yes, well, things change," Sirius said impatiently, "Come on, let's go find a compartment before all the good ones are taken..."

Remus was still terribly confused as the four of them made their way to the train.

As a testimonial to how quickly gossip spread among Hogwarts students, Peter Pettigrew walked into the compartment 15 minutes later saying, "Hey James, I heard this crazy rumor that you were dating Lily..." He stopped upon seeing Lily sitting very close to James. "Oh. I see then."

She turned to her boyfriend. "James, you're not nice," she scolded him for not telling his friends.

"But you like me anyway."

"Oddly enough." Then she leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"I thought you were only going to kiss me once?"

"Oh, but that one was absolutely necessary," she said, smiling.

Sirius, who had been looking through a book, suddenly said, "I know what I did wrong with the potion!"

James looked at him. "You've only just now figured it out?"

>>>>>>>>>>>>

It was a quiet morning in the Evans household. Until... "AAAAAAHHHHH!"

Petunia Evans had just woken up to find she had turned entirely purple.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

A/N: Ah, a happy ending! (Albeit, a short one) I hope you liked my fic as much as I liked writing it. And now, the story is over, summer is over, and in a few days I'll be back at school. It may be a while before I write again, but I've got a few ideas...

Thank you all for reviewing!

Gryffindor's Newsie

drumer girl - Thank God, I thought it might be too much fluff.

Lady-Slytherin-Warrior

Crazy4Cocopuffs - Sirius told Harry, Ron, and Hermione not to mention his name, but to refer to him as Snuffles. It's never said where Sirius got the idea for the name from.

Bloodless death

the-power-of-love - You definitely got your point across

Siriusly Sirius Lily Black - Hmm... A sequel about what though?

Prongsie4028

J.E.A.R.K.Potter

BrownEyes90

chikichiki

CoconutPalm

Ohyeah100

lastjumpfalls

romancejunkie

snochik21

Hurleygurl

Trapped Rabbit

pottyboutweasley

PsychoLeopard

My-Choice

Hermione Radcliffe Go Michael

That's all folks!


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